Great Jokes Still Sound The Same



Kaiser Chiefs - New Job(s)!

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Thanks to TOTP online, The Kaiser Chefs have packed up their saucepans and have gone home.

But WHAT can they do now?

Well, the answer obviously lies in the title of their debut album!



The Kaiser Chiefs - Employment (Specialists)!

It's worked already, because it's already found them a new job!

And there are a LOT of other popstars/celebrities around who need the services of the Chiefs - and they are more than willing to help!

Perhaps Chris Martin will be dropping in for an appointment!:



Recently both Chris's songs and lizovationg have been substandard (see: X&Y, the current LP layout). So evidentially, Chris is in need of a new career direction! Chris, come round, have a talk to the guys, and we'll fix you up with a new resume and list of possible new careers! There are currently NO vacancies in the position of 'Duck Feeder' though, so I've been notified. Still, perhaps we can find you something. If not, there may be a fortnightly payment you qualify for.


Cameron Adam's Oasis Review

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Who Can, eg, Say?

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Even though I'm still not 100% convinced it's not Fop himself "banging this out" I'm On Your Computer is my favourite thing EVER.





Wow. I am actually so *impressed*. This album is GREAT.

Before we get into the track-by-track, some general observations:

  • It doesn't sound like a 'typical' Oasis album at all. Have they actually, whisper it...progressed? Well not really, it's as old fashioned as they come. But it's a million light years leap for Oasis.
  • The "Wall Of Sound" has gone! Good, I never liked it much in the first place.
  • The extremely democratic dividing up of vocals/songwriting works a lot better than I had thought it would.

    Right. Track-By-Track!

    Don't Believe The Truth Reviewed By Crystal Gallagher-Starr, and special guest Stu!

    1. Turn Up The Sun
    Some things never change, and Oasis are still writing songs about the sun. And how it shines. This song is only the first of about 16 references to the sky on this album. I will always question the choice to have the album opener penned by Andy Bell, but it is pretty good.

    'They got so blind, that they could not see'

    Stu: Oh, so opposed to all the blind people that CAN see?
    Crystal: It's alright Stu, I know you're still a little sensitive about 'blind' issues. My favourite line in this song is I can't find the "C". I'm right here guys!
    Stu: I think they mean the Key. They are pretty bad at finding notes.
    Crystal: STU! Do you want to get kicked off the review!? Show some damn respect.




    2. Mucky Fingers

    This really DOES sound like the Velvet Underground. Noel even sings like Lou Reed. I wasn't really expecting that "turn of events". But even if Noel is barely respecting copyright, at least he isn't ripping off Strawberry Fields Forever for the 50 millionth time. In other places, he shows that he has been hanging around with Brandon Flowers by warning "You'll get your fingers burned". I love it.




    3. Lyla

    This has really grown on me a lot. Hated it at first, then sort-of liked it, now I'm up to quite liking it.




    4. Love Like A Bomb

    Stu: This doesn't sound very legal...
    Crystal: It's alright Stu, it's mostly a metaphor. You like those.
    Stu: That I do.

    It's a proper Oasis love song here. They usually keep them hidden away for b-sides. But this one's written by Liam, presumably about Nicole Appleton (she would hope). It's very excellent!




    5. The Importance Of Being Idle

    What is JUST GREAT, I would like to point out here, is that Noel sings all the songs he has written (except Lyla). Come on the "Noel Solo Career!"

    Anyway, this song is nothing like an Oasis song. Which SHOULD be a bad thing, in my books. But it's NOT a bad thing. It is a brilliant thing. I can't think of any other Oasis song this sounds like...maybe something off The Masterplan, at a stretch. Anyway, it's at this point I become very impressed with where this album is 'heading'.




    6. Meaning Of Soul

    This only goes for 1:42! Is this the same Oasis who at one stage thought 7:36 was a 'short' play length?

    I so badly love the lyrics Liam has laid down in this one:

    "I'm a different breed
    I'm outta your league
    I'm 10 out of 10, alright."


    Alright, indeed! I agree.




    7. Guess God Thinks I'm Abel

    It's a bit presumptuous to say what Cameron thinks until we've read Thursday's official review, but ok.

    I've read that this is meant to be a message from Liam to Noel, but...the opening line is "I could be your lover".

    Then there's "I'd get round to loving you, is that such a crime?"

    Stu: Possibly incest.
    Crystal: Let's just hope this song has little/nothing to do with the Liam & Noel relationship.

    Anyway, subject matter aside, it is FUCKING GREAT. The possible best song on the album written by Liam! Who knew!




    8. Part Of The Queue

    Another Noel written/sung track. And another absolute winner. Again, this really doesn't sound much like an Oasis song, but it's great.




    9. Keep The Dream Alive

    Stu: "I'm at the crossroads." Along the freeway of life, I'm assuming.
    Crystal: Well you certainly would.

    This is by Andy Bell, and it's pretty alright, I have to admit. Even if he really SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED to write Oasis songs, just out of principle.




    10. A Bell Will Ring

    The only bad song on the album. It's written by Gem. He should really put that pen RIGHT DOWN, and go back to doing what it is that he does. (He plays the guitar or something, doesn't he)




    11. Let There Be Love

    Cameron!!! I have a special, SPECIAL request!! Please call this their very own Wonderwall. Or at least say it's their new Wonderwall, or this album's Wonderwall. Do it!

    OK, now THIS song sounds like vintage Oasis. It's really the only one that does. And it's a brilliant end to the album. It's like Acquiesce Part II with Liam and Noel both on vocals. Awww.




    All Over Verdict:

    I LOVE it. I had fairly low expectations, what with that fact that Noel didn't write much, but I admit I was wrong. The other songs are almost as good, especially the Liam ones.

    It really IS their best album since Definitely Maybe!