Great Jokes Still Sound The Same



Mistaken Identity

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You know...as far as Delta Goodrem and cooking goes, we really didn't think it got any better than discovering that she was Born To Fry and Lost Without Stew.

AND THEN. We realised that what she really loved most of all was...



A Little Blue Cake.

OMG, Delta is the QUEEN of the popstar chefs. Even the Kaiser Chefs cannot match her abilities!


Ricki-Lee's Guide To Improvement

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The party invite is back!



Previously on Ricki-Lee's Guide To Improvement:

Michelangelo learns what real art is, as I re-paint the Sistine Chapel!

E=mc2... OR DOES IT? I give Einstein a few home truths!

The World Of Literature TAKES NOTE as I give Shakespeare and some other amateurs some writing tips!


Hello! It's me, Ricki-Lee back, saying HELL NO to anything that is old and uncool!

First of all, let me just talk about that new Oasis song! It's from the olden days! What they really should have done, is instead of getting one of the Beatle's kids in on drums, is they should have got in Chaka Khan's daughter! Now SHE'D bring in a party invite or two!

In fact, I can't believe the state of the charts at the moment! THANK GOD for the Crazy Frog. Now that's a modern day superstar! He is also my GREATEST HERO.

But what I've quickly just dropped in to complain about is all this cooking that is going on in here! Cooking is so old fashioned! I mean, I really want my own show, but I just refuse to prepare and bake my own food. So - get ready for Ricki-Lee's Microwave Magic! And my on-the-road special segment Ricki-Lee's Drive Thru Adventures!

See you all then!

Ricki-Lee xxx


Better Than The Beatles!

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How terrific of Ricki-Lee to sum up what we are all feeling about her music career in the title of her new single.

Now that she is unleashing her amazing music upon us, I think it's time to bring her back for her hugely popular segment 'Ricki-Lee's Improvements'! There is still SO much left in the world for her to update and make better.

Stay tuned!


Let Loose Live

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Well, it was mostly lame...except for:

Dog Or No Dog! Hahahahahahaha. Oh, that was almost better than the real show!


It's not confidential!

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"I've never really had a taste of tea. I've probably only had about 5 cups of tea in my whole life"
- Brandon Flowers


Just LOOK at the dedication and example-setting Brandon Flowers is showing to us all. He is so committed to not spilling hot liquids, that he does not even TEMPT FATE.


Meanwhile!: We keep forgetting to mention that according to the source of all things worth knowing, Fop, Missy Eliot is releasing an album called "The Cookbook"!

!!!


Goodness me!

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It's Oasis! In suits! For a new video! For a song that is ACTUALLY GOOD!

Is this the GREATEST DAY EVER? Cameron Adams is back, Oasis are suited up and are releasing a great song, and the SPICE GIRLS ARE REFORMING!!


I Need A HiT

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After a three week bout of enjoying interviews (and more!) with Chris Martin, Cameron is back!



And he's put Oasis in the Hot column! You know why he's done this, don't you? He was upset that last week I said NJ could stay because she loves Oasis. This week Cam has not only said they are 'hot', but put two references to them in the Gorillaz review, and a pic and comment in the charts section. He is trying to win me back, and BOY IS IT WORKING.

Top 5 Bits In HiT This Week:

  • Oasis - "Hot"
  • 'DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT"
  • Chris Martin bringing up Cruisn' by Gwyneth Paltrow! I still love that song! (And so does Stu.)
  • A great Gorillaz review
  • Anti-Gianna comment. GOOD.


  • Q. Is It Possible That There's An Even Worse Show Than The Sleepover Club?

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    A. Yes. After all, any time I watched that triumph of broadcasting that was The Sleepover Club, I thought "you know, the only way this show could be worse is if they made them all amateur surfers".



    Hello "Blue Water High"!

    (I only accidentally watched this because it was a repeat of Deal Or No Deal.)


    Well that's my life complete then.

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    I was reading the ad for Everyday I Love You Less And Less that I'd stuck on my wall before, and LOOK!!!:



    Goodness me.


    The Kitchen Is Re-Opened

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    And I dare you to tell me this isn't the greatest photo ever:


    WHAT WAS I THINKING?

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    Popstars LOVE to cook! Who am I to say that they should stay the hell out of the kitchen, when all they want to do is bake bake bake?

    After all, Hilary Duff is ready and rearing to go! Join her as

  • She keeps a careful eye on her new vegetable patch in Someone's Watching Over Pea!
  • She learns that Soy milk is old news in Soy Yesterday!

    AND SO MUCH MORE!

    Not to mention that the Chef's have a new recipe book to promote, The Spillers are ready to take saftey to an all new level, and Alex Kapranos has a brand new rod to try out!


  • OASIS ARE AT NUMBER 23

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    So we can all breath a hefty sigh of relief that they've at least beaten Mel C. Which isn't saying much at all, but it's something to hang your hat on.


    God I Am A Freaking Moron Part II

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    I Predict A Riot was only out today! I'm so silly.



    Anyway - BUY IT OR ELSE.


    No - It's Not Just A Wonderful Dream!

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    It's really like how it used to be!

    It's all because of THIS, you see:



    The "great" "jokes" are taking a holiday. And in their place are going to be proper posts!

    And I guess the reunion tour is back on again!


    New Department!

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    With Feel Good Pty Ltd growing at such a fast rate, I'll going to be heading up a new "Pink Division", along with Brandon Flowers and Pink herself!



    After all, with her around it's always FEEL GOOD TIME!

    Feel Good Pty Ltd Official Staff:

    President: Damon Albarn
    Vice-President: Lou
    Flower Arrangement: Alf
    Chimney Sweep: Alf
    Receptionist: Alf
    Security: Alf, Stuart Parker
    Legal Team: Will, Toadfish
    Work Experience: Suntribe
    Pink Division Leader: Crystal
    Pink Division Managers: Brandon Flowers, Pink.


    God I Am A Freaking Moron

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    I didn't even realise this has been out here for a week!!:



    At least I remembered to buy Oasis. The b-sides to Lyla absolutely blow though. You can tell they do, just by looking at the writing credits:

    Track 2 Written by Gem
    Track 3 Written by Liam Gallagher

    WRONG WRONG WRONG. Apart from 'Songbird' I really have no time for Oasis songs not written by Noel. Which is why I'm not really that fused by the up-coming album, where he's written less than half. I would SO much prefer a Noel solo album, you know.


    Feel Good Pty Ltd - Mission One!

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    Damon's called an emergency meeting of staff!

    Damon: Rightio everyone! Lou, Alf, Startribe... I've got a big job for you all! We need ten emergency shipments of Dunston Checks In, immediately!



    Lou: ...To do what with?
    Damon: To send them out into the world! It's what the world needs now!
    Lou: Er, but why 'Dunston Checks In?'
    Damon: It's the definitive orangutan movie of the 90s! It's got it all... plucky kids, hilarious animal hi-jinks, comedy criminals:

    'When Dunston gets loose and tries to escape a life of crime with the help of Brian and Kyle, things go just a little lunatic.'


    Damon: Doesn't the final line of that sound just the lyrics of a Eurovision song? "Just a little lunatic!"
    Lou: You're right Damon! Let's get happy then!



    Damon: And Alf - you just take care of the flowers!
    Alf: No problems Damon! Let's go team!

    *****

    Well, this is all going brilliantly! We've got one member of Blur and 3 Eurovision contestants working hard to get overlooked 1996 comedy classic Dunston Checks In delivered to the masses! What next for Team Fun? Who knows!


    The Work Experience Kids Are Here!

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    Down at Feel Good Pty Ltd. Damon and the gang are always pleased to have a bunch of youngsters come in to 'learn the ropes'. This week we've got a fab bunch in, and they've certainly dressed for the job!:



    Yes, it's 2005 Eurovision hopefuls, Suntribe! Or, as I accidentally called them before, Starburst. That's these things!:



    Anyway, we give Suntribe a very warm welcome, and we hope they enjoy their time at Feel Good Pty Ltd! And good luck for Eurovision girls!


    NAME CHANGE

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    As our newly hired in-house lawyer William has pointed out, naming an Australian company "Inc" rather than "Pty Ltd." could land us in a load of hot water! So we've had no choice but to change the company's name to Feel Good Pty Ltd!

    Now not only are we following federal law, we are not infringing on any direct Gorillaz copyright! Plus, it's the greatest of the great jokes!

    Feel Good Pty Ltd. Staff Update:

  • President: Damon Albarn
  • Vice President: Lou
  • FLower Arranging: Alf
  • Legal Team: Will, Toadie from Neighbours
  • Work Experience Kids: Suntribe


  • FEEL GOOD INC - Unveiled

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    Imagine a cross between the Eurovision Song Contest and the most fantastic office building you've ever worked in. - You've just imagined Feel Good Inc., a new multi-national production company designed and managed by Damon Albarn.

    Feel Good Inc. is unique in that it's the first ever Love Pavilion & Lizjournal COMPANY. Well...apart from all those Lizovation ones. But they were more like small businesses. Feel Good Inc. is like what Chris Martin's Lizovations would be like if it not only redesigned templates, but changed the world.

    At Feel Good Inc what is produced, marketed and sold is feel-good family fun. With Damon at the helm though, problems are sure to arise. Not only will he have to put up with everyone in the world annoying him, he has to battle his own tendencies towards grumpiness and bitterness. The irony sometimes is, that the more Feel Good stuff Damon produces, the worse he feels. But he's determined to get the job done!

    And first he'll need some staff. We mentioned Eurovision at the top of the post, and we weren't joking! Because Vice-President of Feel Good Inc is none other than 2003 Eurovision contestant Lou!:



    You might remember her for her song and life philosophy "Let's Get Happy!" She'll be perfect down at the company! Anytime Damon loses his vision, she'll be there to remind him "Let's get happy and let's be friends"!

    And that's just the START of it...

    (For more information, see Lizjournal)


    I'm Getting Worried Now

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    Cameron Adams is still away!

    However, his replacement NJ has given Oasis a good review! "They're not done for yet." Neala Johnson, I've severely underestimated you. We don't even need Cameron back if you're going to be dishing out the Oasis praise left right AND center.

    There was also LOADS of stuff about the fortunes of Gorillaz's "Feel Good Inc". Plugs for our new project already HiT? Well done!


    The Celebrity Kitchen Is Temporarily Closed

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    Which is sort of a shame, because Paul Weller was just about to start his new show on scone spreads, The Jam, and Pete & Carl were going to reunite for a new sprout show called The Lima Beans.

    But. Anyway.

    We have SOMETHING EVEN BETTER.

    Beginning right away, in conjunction with Lizjournal:



    But what is it? A new TV show, a fantastic film idea, or a great life philosophy segment? We don't know! It's all to be revealed shortly! What we DO know is, is that it's the future.


    We have a winner!

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    The Pastry Chefs are currently baking Alyson a special gold plated blue cake, for coming up with the greatest cooking show ever:

    U2 star in Sometimes You Can't Bake It On Your Own!

    And I've thought about it - imagine the confusion when Bono and gang discover that they Still Haven't Found What They're Cooking For! Another ratings smash!


    Fucking Hell...:

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    Get well soon, Kylie.


    Here It Comes, The Sound Of Drums:

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    Izzy's done a single!

    And, now that all my posts are, essentially, Popjustice a day too late, I can only join the chorus in saying that it's fucking excellent!

    Go on, go and have a listen. It might even make up for the fact that Summer is over (and all we are is a part, etc. etc.).


    A Great Quote

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    From a recent Kaiser Chef's webchat:...

    Q What unusual thing gets you inspired to write a song?
    Ricky Wilson: There's a song on the album about healthy eating. that's pretty weird...

    It's not weird at all! After all, you are the bloody expert on the subject!


    And moving along completely, I'd like to issue a public warning. I've been listening to my Alanis Mosissette albums (all four of them) and I think E.A.M.A.M is right around the corner.



    Incidentally, did you know that Alanis Morissette loves to cook? ...



    And that's - sisters are doing it for themselves!

    No it's not. It's - Summer is leaving Neighbours!!!!



    Probably our ALL TIME favourite great joke was Cfbgoespop's Summer (Hoyland) Edition. Seriously, that quite nearly caused a death over here at Gallagher-Starr towers.

    And just for that - we don't want Summer to leave! Sure, we might joke about Boyd killing her, and we KNOW she is one of the most hated characters ever, but lately she really hasn't been that bad! Plus - how on earth will they write her out?? Summer time will quite literally be over.

    *****************

    In other cross blog love-ins, we are returning the praise to our Non-Identical Blog Twins Fop, who are enjoying our kitchen antics, it seems. We enjoy everything they do as well! Especially their recent post at the Ausculture Big Brother blog!

    Apparently though, some Hollywood superstars think there are better things we could be writing about than rock star chefs!

    Better things to write about than people who are singers first, cooks second, and probably entertainers third? I don't think so! You will never find another better bunch of celebrity chefs than what we have here. Ones who are basically just chilled out entertainers. I tell them - thanks for the great jokes!

    And thus concludes the David Brent quoting and linking for today.


    You've gotta make choices, be wrong or right

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    The schedule is just about JAMMED PACKED down here at Love Pavilion TV, but...

    We've recently learned that Delta Goodrem is:



    So how could we resist giving her her very own cooking show?!

    Take it away D!

    Delta: G'day everyone! Welcome to Born To Fry! The show where...love is on the menu! That's right, because today I have my boyfriend Brian McFadden in, to whip up some romance! Hi Brian!

    Brian: Hey Delta! So, what can I do to help out in the kitchen?

    Delta: First of all, I'd like you to peel these apples for me...is that alright?

    Brian: Sure! After all, that's what's "Peel To Me!"

    Delta: Great! And after that, I need to you prepare some pears for me, if you can.

    Brian: Definitely! You might even say I'll 'Pear It Again!'


    Network Executive: THIS IS AXED.


    The Schedule:

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    A Message From Damon

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    It seems like Damon Albarn is 'harbouring' some grievances about this new wave of cooking popstars...



    Crystal: Hey Damon, what's up?
    Damon: Well, I'm really annoyed about something.
    Crystal: Nothing new there. What is it this time?
    Damon: This whole new cooking rock stars thing...you know, it all started when the Kaiser Chefs baked a cake for the season premier of Damon Albarn's Harbour! Which, I might point out, NEVER RETURNED.
    Crystal: Yeah, sorry about that. But what are you saying here, that you're responsible for the phenomenon?
    Damon: I'm not only responsible for it, but it's cost me my own show! I am getting NO credit, and NO airtime!
    Crystal: But that's because you don't have a cooking show.
    Damon: ...OR DO I? You see, I've got some ideas...
    Crystal: I don't know Damon...the schedules already pretty full.
    Damon: Can I just tell you them?
    Crystal: Sigh, alright, I suppose so.

    Damon: How about one of the following!:

  • Find out what happens when your herb cabinet is empty in Out Of Thyme!
  • Discover the wacky world of vegetables in Crazy Beet!
  • And enter the dangerous world of pastry abuse in She's So Pie!

    Crystal: ...or a mathematics show about a girl who loves triangles called She's So Pi...

    Damon: Oh, is that what you're after?

    Crystal: Not really, no. But...those other ideas are actually pretty good. Ok - you've got yourself a show!

    Damon: Fantastic! I'm actually pretty happy about something!

    Crystal: It's a first! Welcome on board the cooking train of success Damon...


  • Somebody Scold Me - Continued...

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    B.Flow: Welcome back! Boy, that was a long ad break, wasn't it? In the, er...day that it took, we've developed a bit of a problem down here at Somebody Scold Me. In fact, you might even say we're in a bit of a 'pickle'!

    The problem is, with our name. See, if we continue on with Somebody Scold Me, we'll naturally be changing our name to The Spillers. BUT - there's also the option of changing it to The Grillers, and embarking on a BBQ cooking spin-off.

    WHICH WILL WE CHOOSE? The answer after the break!


    Thanks Chris!!!

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    It's my most favourite Love Pavilion banner ever! You've still got it!


    Incoming...:

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    Image hosted by Photobucket.com

    In keeping with the current trend for popstar chefs, The Artist Formerly Known As Any Good Ginger Spice appears to have turned up to her album photoshoot dressed as a dog's dinner!

    In related news, Mel B is releasing an album in June, although word has it that it's worse than Hot.


    It's The Great Joke That Never Ends

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    Rock stars and cooking eh? Who knew it was such a good match!

    And I think it's about time my favourite band ever get in on the action!

    Liam & Noel proudly present...

    Don't Cook Back In Anger!




    It's the celebrity cooking show where everything is done with a smile!

    Coming up on this week's show:

  • The guys investigate how long meat products can last before they go bad, in Liver Forever!

  • They check out the likelihood of a group of people using a particular dressing in Some Might Satay!

  • It's sandwich making time in Roll With It!

  • And the correct way to cook delicacies in Stop Frying Your Eyes Out!

    It's a ratings smash!


  • It's Not Confidential, It's Got Potential

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    Ready let's roll onto something new!



    'Somebody told me, that you had a burnt hand...'

    B.Flow: Well out of all the proposed segments on I Predict A Sprite, ours was by far the most popular! So popular in fact, that we've got our own kitchen health and saftey show! "Somebody Scold Me!"

    The Kaiser Chiefs might be great cooks, but there's one thing they've ignored when it comes to food preparation, and that is SAFETY FIRST. ALWAYS.

    But that's the one thing we don't ignore! In fact - it's the one thing we know more about than anything else! Most of all, of course, we care about how to avoid being scolded by boiling water.

    Ronnie: You might even say we're in a 'Hot Fuss' about stove saftey!

    B.Flow: Hahaha. Quite.

    Ronnie: So, what do we have coming up on today's show?

    B.Flow: Well, amongst all the warnings about the consequences of spilling hot water we have the following fun (and educational!) segments:

  • Mr Knifeside - The proper way to handle knives! (Tip: Always grip it by the handle)
  • Tile Like You Mean It - How to keep your kitchen surfaces in top condition to avoid germs and contamination!
  • All These Bins That I've Done - Separating your recyclables from your scraps and compost!
  • Somebody Fold Me - How to keep your teatowels and napkins neat and tidy!

    B. Flow: But that's all coming up after the break!


    Somebody Scold Me will continue shortly. Maybe.


  • I Predict A Cancellation

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    Kaiser Chefs: Hey there everyone! You know, we're just about out of puns on the title "I Predict A Riot!" And that means we are literally at the end of the road! But, being the great chefs we are, and because we so want to pass our love of food and cooking onto you all, we really want to keep the show going!

    So, we are going to bring in some of our famous friends from other bands to do some guest segments!:

    Starting soon On I Predict A Sprite:

  • Alex Kapranos and gang each week give away a fish to a lucky contestant in "Take Me Trout!"
  • Brandon Flowers and co extol the virtues of kitchen safety as they dare people to spill hot water on them in "Somebody Scold Me!"
  • Does music improve the taste of sesames? Chris Martin and mates find out in "Seed Of Sound!"
  • Those crazy guys from Keane teach us about vegetables that only sprout in rare conditions in "Somewhere Only We Grow!"

    Don't these all sound brilliant! We can't wait!


  • You Ain't Got No Alibi:

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    The genius behind PopJustice and Tim Chipping who used to be in Orlando (who's album I saw on eBay the other day for silly, silly money, but has apparently been bought and paid for) have sold their souls to the devil and created Slashmusic, on which they are keeping us abreast of the long-overdue comeback of Daphne and her friend, Celeste (and, also, plugging my boyfriend's music, hence my creditting them, as opposed to blatently ripping of their post and taking all the credit for it).

    So, in the great tradition of The Love Pavilion, here's that Daphne and Celeste interview in full:

    Daphne: Hi, my name's Daphne, and this is my friend, Celeste! Bob Marley came to Celeste in a dream. He was smoking a pipe and he told her we had to come back to save British TV because it sucked.
    Celeste: It was one of those dreams/visions.
    Daphne: She’s a shamanistic visionary. I’m more psychic.
    Celeste: We have several shows in the pipeline, like Squirty the Worm. We don’t know if Britain is ready for Squirty yet. He’s gay and thinks he’s a snake. It’s quite controversial. Then there’s The Foot Show. Celebrities come on and you can only see their feet.
    Daphne: If we make any more music it has to be really good. We don’t want to let the fans down.
    Celeste: It’ll be a lot of psychic visionary stuff. But of course we’ll be doing the theme tunes to all our shows. Everything is a long term plan.

    God, I've missed them.

    Hang on...

    Shamanistic visionaries? Made-up TV shows? 'Quirky' characters with stupid names?

    If ever there was a mighty force that chanelled the spirit of The Love Pavilion, that mighty force is Daphne and Celeste.


    Who Misses The Chefs!?

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    We haven't blogged about them in DAYS, and I feel a sadness in my heart.



    They are, for the record, still my favourite band of all time. And my favourite cooks, for that matter.

    As for this week's episode, the producers have now decided it will be a Jamie Oliver style offering, with the Chefs going from hotel to hotel trying to makeover their kitchen menus. It will be called I Predict A Hyatt.


    Go The Double G!!

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    We at the Pavilion are officially (for now) supporting Glenn and Geneva for Big Brother 5. Yes, we know Glenn is ATROCIOUS, but he's laid down a WOMP/Dishpig vibe that we've simply been taken in by. And as for The Geneva Convention, she is FANTASTIC.

    As for who we absolutely detest:

  • Hotdogs.

    You know, I thought changing my last name to that of particular members of Oasis was slightly worrying, but at least I'm not named after anything you can purchase at Donut King. PLEASE BE FIRST OUT.

    That said, I bet within two days I will completely love him and change my last name to Meatpie as a sign of support, but we'll see.

    (Sorry Will but I thought Gretel's hair was terrible)


  • Old School

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    Do you know who I've been thinking about a lot today?



    That's right, Mr Squiggle.

    Man, I LOVED Mr Squiggle. Not so much the short 5 minute episodes, but the long ones that went for 25 minutes, and had loads of drawing, and adventure. One of the happiest moments of my life was during my year 12 trip to Canberra, when we went to the Museum of Film and Television, and I got to see the real Mr Squiggle in person! If you think I didn't use up a whole roll of film, you're sadly mistaken.

    I'm trying to remember the theme song, but I'm a bit unsure...was it this...?

    Here's Mr Squiggle, lot's of fun for everyone!
    Here's Mr Squiggle,...sings a happy tune(?)
    You can see he's as happy as can be!
    Mr Squiggle, the man from the moon.


    The only line I'm sure on is the last - he was definitely the man from the moon. He only came down to earth, of course, to turn random dots and squiggles into recognisable objects. It was a job that needed to be done!

    But wasn't Mr Squiggle just so BONZA? When I was 6, it was my greatest, greatest dream to host that show one day. Blackboard...the snail....the rocket... "upside down"! Oh, the great memories.

    I can't believe actually that they haven't tried to bring it back for a new millennium makeover. I reckon it would go down a treat with the kids today. And poor Mr Squiggle deserves better than to be stuck in a glass cage in a museum. Who wants to start a campaign?!


    STOP RIGHT NOW

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    And go HERE

    You know, us here at the Pavilion and the Pop can make up hilarious alternative careers for celebrities all we like, but sometimes truth is better than fiction.

    Ben Cousins is a gangsta? And Missy Higgins is possibly involved? (Ok, that last part was made up, but it's still fantastic)



    ...So travel down the Road Of Success,
    Come to the detective who knows best...




    It's Detective Stu, that's who!

    Now, if it's one thing Oasis are NOT known for, it's ripping off old songs, calling them something else, and trying to pass them off as something new. No no no no no. That's just not their style at all. Which is why I got such a rude shock last night when I heard a track off the new album

    I've had to pay a visit to Detective Stu to try to sort it all out!

    Crystal: Hi Stu!
    Stu: G'day! What seems to be the problem? Is there a mystery that needs solving?
    Crystal: Yes! Desperately!
    Stu: Tell me all the facts then.
    Crystal: WELL. Yesterday, Hollywood superstar Ben Affleck sent me an mp3 of a new Oasis song, promising that it would be my new BEST SONG EVER. It was allegedly called "Let There Be Love".
    Stu: Well that sounds fantastic. What was the problem?
    Crystal: I already had it! I've had it for years! Except it was called "It's A Crime"!
    Stu: It IS a crime!!! Possibly.
    Crystal: Oh Stu, it definitely is. I was promised a fantastic new song, and I got one that is five years old, just with a different title!
    Stu: Well, it's definitely not Oasis's fault. They would never repeat themselves, or serve up something that sounds exactly like something they've released before.
    Crystal: I know Stu, they're not to blame. So who IS?
    Stu: Well, I have my number one suspect...



    Stu: I suspect he's doubled the song.
    Crystal: Stu...I think you may have just solved the case. THANK YOU.
    Stu: It's another mystery solved!


    Something A Bit Strange

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    I was watching my Blur Best Of DVD before, and, quite weirdly...there's numerous shots throughout it of Damon either cooking and/or drinking lemonade. For instance, in Sunday Sunday he whips up a nice roast, and in On Your Own he takes 'a sip of lemonade' (possibly Sprite!), before carelessly chucking it on the ground. And there are SEVERAL MORE. Quite frankly I'm confused as to what this all means.


    Extreme Big Arvo Appreciation Mania

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    Isn't the Big Arvo just plain genius? I reckon it's like what the Love Pavilion would be like if it was a TV show.

    ACTUALLY.

    CHECK. THE. SIMILARITIES.

    On The Big Arvo:

  • They drive/fly around the world on a bus
  • Not only do they have a cooking segment...
  • ...They have a cooking BAND.
  • They have special celebrity guest segments (Bruce The Cow, for instance)
  • They have "wacky" themes each episode
  • They have great jokes:
    'Next up we have an interview with Tammin Sursock'
    'I love socks!'

    Who's ripping off who! I hope we haven't unintentionally based ourselves on the Big Arvo...


  • Welcome Back Cameron? I don't think so!

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    Cameron took today off! So, I think we'd better save the Welcome Back party for when he is actually, you know, back.


    The Neighbours Awards

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    You know, there was one problem with the Logie Awards the other night - they were about other shows that weren't Neighbours! There are only three Australian TV shows I give two hoots about - Neighbours, The Big Arvo and Deal Or No Deal. And out of those three there's only one that is worthy of completely scooping the Logie's pool. Or EVEN - having an awards show completely about it!

    We've actually done a Neighbours Awards before, about 18 months ago. But this one is all about the year so far. It's only been on 4 months, but a LOT has gone down in Ramsay St, and we're here to hand out all the top prizes!

    The Neighbours Awards 2005

    Best Stu Moment:

    The nominees are:

    a) Going blind
    b) Getting hit by a truck
    c) Getting his sight back

    And the winner is... b,Getting hit by a truck! Just because it involved what he loves the most, a vehicle.


    Most Disturbing Moment Of The Year So Far:

    The nominees are:

    a) Harold kissing his dead daughter
    b) Garth from Idol molesting Janae in the playground
    c) An ALMOST romantic moment between Lil and Stingray

    And the winner is...a, Harold pashing his fake dead daughter!


    Best Patient and Illness:

    The nominees are:

    a) Boyd and his coma
    b) Karl and his heart attack
    c) Stu and his blindness

    And the winner is... a, Boyd and his coma!


    The Taj Coppin Memorial Award For Best Criminal Mastermind:

    The nominees are:

    a) David Bishop
    b) Dylan Timmins
    c) Paul Robinson
    d) Steph Scully

    And the winner is... c, Paul Robinson!


    Most Surprisingly Improved Character:

    The nominees are:

    a) Serena
    b) Summer
    c) Karl

    And the winner is...a, Serena!


    Most Ruined Character:

    The nominees are:

    a) Sky
    b) Stingray

    And the winner is...a, Sky!


    Most Annoying Member Of The Timmin's Household:

    The nominees are:

    a) Janelle
    b) Janae
    c) Dylan
    d) Stingray
    e) Bree

    And the winner is...It's a tie between a, b, c & d! Bree is alright, we can stand her.

    Congratulations to everyone!


    Oh My God, I Can't Believe It

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    Do you know we have gone almost two weeks without mentioning Cameron Adams? That is an all time record! I didn't even mention HiT last Thursday, because it was a bit ordinary.

    So tomorrow we are holding a Welcome Back Cameron concert and celebration! The Chefs will bring the great cakes (and the great music!), Chris will put the decorations up and Stu will be in charge of crowd control! It's all all-star Love Pavilion event as we celebrate the Very Best Of Cameron Adams.

    Meanwhile: I am trying so hard not to download the Oasis album. I should take the Oasis Liz off my friends list, because it's getting posted about 20 times a day.


    I Predict A Sprite - Episode Two

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    KCs: Hey guys! Welcome to episode two of I Predict A Sprite! The amazing cooking and diet show that's all about health, fun, and Sprite! Proudly brought to you by Sprite!

    R: Now, er...we've had a slight change in plans today...
    N: Yeah, we turned up at Wyatt Earp's house, and it turns out he's actually been dead for around 85 years.
    R: And dead people don't really need diets!
    N: No, they're already pretty thin!
    R: They could probably still enjoy the refreshing taste of Sprite though!
    N: Absolutely!

    R: Anyhow, we were kind of at a lose end for what to fill the show with after that!
    N: So instead we've got a special musical guest on for you! It's R&B superstar R Kelly with his hit Sex In The Kitchen!



    'Girl you're in the kitchen
    Cooking me a meal...

    Cutting up tomatoes,
    fruits and vegetables and potatoes...

    Sex in the kitchen over by the stove
    Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls...'


    R: Thank's for that R Kelly! You know guys, we could do a cover of that song...
    S: Yeah, but we'd change that last line to "Sex in the kitchen over by the blue cake...put you on the counter near the bottles of Sprite"
    W: Guys...what the HELL is this show about?
    R: I don't know...things that rhyme with 'riot'? Kitchen jokes? Oh, I really have no idea...let's hope we get it right for episode three...


    Extreme Parva Appreciation Mania!

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    Well, putting behind me the memory of those horrible pictures, I downloaded Parva's "biggest" "hit" Good Bad Right Wrong:



    And I like it! It sounds like...well, the Kaiser Chefs! Hopefully I will find some more of their great songs, because wouldn't it be brilliant if we could love them as three things - an indie band, a blur tribute band, and a fabulous bunch of cooks?

    And aren't the Kaiser Chiefs just the comedy pop band that keeps on giving? I don't think there's any limit to the material they can provide for us here at the Love Pavilion. Thank GOD they came along just in time, because after Nikki left DWTS we were at a right loss, really we were.


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